The Life We Imagine

Today was Blaise's first day at The Hope Connection Camp hosted by The TCU Institute of Child development and Dr. Karyn Purvis.  Today was also a full day of parent training for me.  Blaise had a great time--his favorite part was "Crash and Bump" which is a sensory activity.  He also self-corrected when commanding me to put on his shoes and said, "Will you please put on my shoes?"  When I complimented he said, "I learned that today!"  It's great how the same lessons work so nicely when delivered by someone else. I met some great fellow adoptive parents and heard many stories.  Today I felt like I learned a great deal but two things stuck with me.  First, we talked about how the diagnosis of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) is being eliminated or discouraged by many of the authorities in the field.  One big reason is that many RAD "experts" are treating it as a terminal diagnosis.  Phrases such as "some children just can't get...

Okay, I know that many people feel that kids' birthdays have gotten out of hand, and while you aren't going to see us on some "My Sweet 16" type reality show any time soon, in our family we like to really do up the birthday parties.  It's not about spending a lot of money, or getting lots of presents, it's more about celebrating these childhood years.  Soon enough they'll be teenagers who'd just assume I pay for the pizza and scram; so, I pour plenty of time and effort into each party. I really enjoy home parties. It probably is because that's how I grew up, but I just like memories being created at home (or at Mimi and Grandpa's as we often do).  Parties at jump places, pizza arcades, and such are fun but sometimes they just feel a bit generic. Each birthday around here starts with a theme.  This year, my oldest son, Brooks, turned 7.  In the past we've done themes such as basketball, Star Wars, Superheros, safari, Bob the Builder, etc....

Those of you out there who happen to be perfectionists understand the paradox that is perfectionism.  We want things to be done so right, so perfectly that we are often unable to complete anything because its just impossible.  We procrastinate because we never have the time to do things the way they need to be done.  "Good enough" is not something we're happy with. So, those of you who don't deal with this tendancy might wonder why my house is a mess, why the yard is horrific and why I can't seem to maintain any sort of routine.  It's just that everything I do is "all or nothing." I have a real hard time just wiping things down and staying ahead of everything because every time I think about doing a better job on the house it results in elaborate charts and systems and plans and schedules that take longer to understand than just doing the work. It's the same thing with exercising--I did it again, right here on this blog for you to all witness...

Yep. You read it right. Today I handed the unsuspecting UPS employee 3 boxes filled with lots of tiny vials of spit and pee.  Really, this is an exciting thing.  It is a part of the preparations for our participation in Hope Camp at TCU's Institute of Child Development under the leadership of Dr. Karyn Purvis. This July Blaise and I will participate in 3 weeks of day camp (Chris will join us for the last week) in Fort Worth.  The camp will help us to better understand the effects that Blaise's background has had on him emotionally, psychologically, and physically.  It will give us insights that will help us become better parents to him and it will help him cope with his unique struggles. I highly recommend Dr. Purvis's book The Connected Child to anyone who is in any phase of the adoption journey.  I also really think that if you have a close friend or family member adopting or with an adopted child it would be a blessing to them for you to read t...