"Promise me you'll always remember--You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh
I have lived in a perpetual state of nausea with the uncomfortable feeling of an impending panic attack very since Thursday. That is the day we decided that I was leaving for Rwanda, by myself, in 2 days. No big deal, right? I've left the country before--all the way to the Bahamas! So, I cried the better part of the way from Houston to Charlotte and I don't think the tears are depleted yet, but as I told Brooks, sometimes we do things we don't want to do because in the bigger picture, they're the right things to do.
So, here I sit on leg one of the journey in the Charlotte airport. I head to Dulles soon and from there will head to Addis Ababa and onto Kigali, Rwanda. Unfortunately, my touch down in Rome on the way won't allow for sightseeing!
No, we didn't actually get the referral, but we did get enough encouraging news for us to pray that it will be ready soon. Whoever our son is, he has waited so long for his very own family. We decided that if I can make the moment he knows that he has a family come any sooner then we should do that. So, I will be hanging out in Rwanda. On Monday I hope to meet all the people at the Ministry who work so hard on all these adoptions.
I do not know the length of this trip, nor do I know what exactly I will be doing there. This is a leap of faith, something that we feel we need to do for our son. Of course, even after we find out who he is, there will be court dates and other official steps to complete, but this way they will be done while I am near him.
Please pray for us:
* That Brooks and Chris and I can bear the separation. Chris and I haven't been apart for more than a week since we started dating over 17 years ago, and until last week I had never spent even a single night away from Brooks. There was sobbing all around at the airport.
* For safe travels and good decisions. Please pray that helpful, compaasionate people are placed in my path at the monents I need them.
* That the referral is ready quickly so that I can stay in Rwanda through the entire duration of the adoption proceedings. That my presence is received well by the Ministry. That they understand my motivation to be near our son.
* For health and well-being--physically, emotionally, and mentally.
By the way, if you were planning on coming to Brooks's b-day party Saturday, it's postponed.